The beginning of a war. Patricia Marucci reports from Costa Rica:

Unable to kill the two roaches in the kitchen, I decide that I would be safer in my bed where I can put my feet up off the floor. I head to my bedroom, climb in the bed and as I lay down I look up and there on the ceiling is a cockroach right above me. I get out of the bed, grab my weapon of choice, the heaviest shoes I have, jump up on the bed and start pounding away. The fucker falls off the ceiling, still alive right into my bed. I screamed a blood curdling scream and jump off the bed and run out of the room into my living room. Just totally freaked out, I pick up the phone and call Vince. He answers the phone and I frantically say “Vince there´s a cockroach in my bed!” Oh cool mom he replies. Cool? Cool? Vince it´s a fucking cockroach and it´s in my fucking bed. I don´t know mom, it´s a bug and I like bugs. I think cockroaches are cool. Vince cockroaches are not cool, and when they are in your bed they are fucking uncool. Mom it´s a bug, chill out. Chill out, Vince you have to help me, I have two cockroaches in the kitchen and one in my bed. Mom, I´m 3000 miles away from you what can I do to help you? I don´t know but you have to think of something. Mom just chill out and go back to bed. Go back to bed? Are you out of your mind? I´m not even going back in that room. Realizing that he can´t help me we hang up and I sit in the living room trying to figure out what to do. I know I´ll hust stay up all night. Looking at the clock it´s midnight. I say yea, I just stay up all night I can do it. Looking around I realize I have one coke and one pack of cigarettes. Shit it´s midnight on Sunday night everything is closed. How can this happen to me? No I can do this, I´ll just find ways to entertain myself. Two hours later, never leaving the chair I realize that I have to lay down. So I decide to go into the dining room, get all the chairs,, bring them into the living room line them up and lay down on them. Not happening. The chairs keep sliding apart. Fuck I say. It´s 2:30 am. I think of my hammock, maybe I could sleep outside in the hammock. Then I remember that I had turned it into an eco garden for the nesting spiders. I curse mysel asking why I have to be so fucking eco friendly? OK, I´m just going to have to sit here and wait for morning. So with the roosters crowing, the dogs barking and the cockroaches crawling I sit in my chair chain smoking, waiting for the sun to rise. Finally the morning light comes to save me. It´s 6am. I jump in the shower, get dressed and head down the hill to the local market. I go in and say to the man Senor, la coocaroches in me casa. La coocaroches in me bed. Senor, Pssssst….la coocaroches. He looks at me, gives me a half felt smile, turns around and grabs a can of raid. I say, Senor, Pssst..Grande per favore. He turns around again, gets the largest can he has, hands it to me. I pay him, grab the can and head off to declare war on the fucking roaches.